Troubled three-time former Mr Universe winner Calum von Moger has opened up about his mental health battles since his younger brother tragically took his own life one year ago.
Edward von Moger, 28, was filmed in August 2022 yelling about Covid vaccines at a couple through their car window by the side of a Victorian road.
The confronting video showed a shirtless von Moger beating on the couple’s driver’s side window and wing mirror with a boomerang before launching into an expletive-filled rant about Covid-19 vaccines.
In March 2023, Edward mysteriously vanished and was later found dead.
At the same time people were looking for Edward, Calum was appearing at the prestigious 2023 Arnold Classic bodybuilding competition in Ohio.
Celebrity bodybuilder Calum von Moger has talked openly about his mental health struggles since his younger brother tragically took his own life one year ago
Edward von Moger (pictured left with his brother) tragically took his own life one year ago
He said it was one of the ‘toughest moments of his life’ and he quickly returned to Australia afterwards.
‘Everyone’s going through a bit of mental anxiety and unknown and all this sort of stuff,’ von Moger told podcast The Kris Fade Show.
‘So, I made it a point to come back to Australia and I knew my little brother, who I was very close with, was going through some things.
‘And I’ll just get straight into it, but basically, last year, he took his own life. He died.’
Von Moger, who admits to his own struggles with drug addiction, revealed he has also thought about taking his life.
‘I almost did. I almost put a bullet through my head. I came pretty close a few times,’ he said.
‘I’d been talking myself into it for quite a while. I was kind of planning it. I was like, ”I’ve just had enough”. I’d been kind of psyching myself up to do it.
‘The thing that got me is that, I think of my brother so intensely, thinking that he’s just in this black abyss by himself, and I was like, I’d rather trade this world to be with him – I don’t want him to be alone.
‘I was carrying on telling everyone that I was fine, that I wasn’t thinking about it. Then I called a few people and they managed to talk me out of it.’
The Aussie bodybuilder (pictured with Arnold Schwarzenegger, who he played in the 2018 film Bigger) admits that he overcame his own suicidal thoughts
Von Monger (pictured) posted a tribute to Ed saying not a day goes by that he doesn’t think of him since he died
Von Monger posted a heartfelt online tribute to his brother Ed on the anniversary of his death last week.
‘I miss him a lot. Rest in paradise Ed,’ he wrote.
‘Today marks one year since I lost my younger brother Eddie.
‘Not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought of him or what he might be up to if he were still here.
‘Being in a world without him has been my toughest battle yet, it has not been easy and, to be brutally honest, many a time I wanted to quit and join him.
‘Dealing with so many emotions at once I’ve never had to handle before was hard, I didn’t understand it. I felt deep sadness, depression, anger, anxiety, remorse, guilt, fear and sometimes complete hopelessness.
‘Some days I’d walk off for hours and just stare at the sky, other days I’d just cry. Most of the time I wanted to be alone and didn’t want to talk to anyone. It was tough.’
Von Monger said that speaking about mental health issues is important and anybody who reads his words should ask for help if they need it.
‘Speaking about this is helping and I think that’s really the key to move forward is to be open and honest about what our feelings are telling us and not to be afraid to to talk about them.
‘If you’re going through a rough patch, it’s OK to ask for help. Or if you know someone who is, check in with them and see how they’re going, ask if they’re OK. And if they’re not, ask if they want to talk about it.’
If you need support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, or Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636
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